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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Wounds To Wisdom


I've learned enough in the past to know that when hardships come, I need to be alert to the lessons.

Most are small, tweaks to the character.  But there are times when I feel turmoil that is bigger, and I then know that God is brewing something good, and I brace myself for the type of love and growth that comes through a storm.

When life is smooth sailing, nice and cool, I rest.  These times of rest are precious, but I also find I get lethargic and lazy to the lessons.  Days slip by and before I know it, I have not called out His name for far too long.  A longing starts to stir within and I am missing the one who knows it all and all of me.

James 1.  I would say this is my favorite chapter of mine in all of His word.  Here is verses 1-5. Love.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

My heart has been heavy, and for once it is not due to health issues.  A different storm stirring.  New lessons brewing.  In the midst I have had sweet reminders of His presence.  A note from my former youth pastor, with words sweet and timely.  A gift in the mail from my sister fighter friend, a necklace that brought an instant stream of tears as I felt it rest around my neck.  It wrapped me not only in her love, but brought a whisper from Him--"I see you, all of you, and you are fully loved. This gift is from her & through her, but I led. I work through my people and my timing is perfect.  Wear and feel my love around your neck."



His timing IS perfect.  I feel Him pressing the lessons.  

"Ok child, it is now time for this.  Let's conquer this one together."

Sometimes I mistaken the imperfect packages He brings these lessons in, as the enemy.  They are not.  They are just messy, broken humans, as am I.  I am learning to forgive and look past the package.  I am learning to not take things so personally.

How?  I am seeing myself through God's lens.
Pure.  Forgiven.  Made new.  Growing.

Learning is the key word here.  My initial human response is defensiveness.  Self pity.  Lists of all the things I am doing right.  Lots of "yeah, buts.."  When any fault is pointed out in me, this is my natural response.

But, something is changing.  It may be my initial response, but it is quickly being followed up by the sweetness of God whispers.."Forgiven.  Made new.  Growing."

These beautiful song lyrics "you are more than the problems you create, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create.  You have been remade!" {You Are More by Tenth Avenue West}

Swapped thought patterns, happening much more quickly.  Growth.

This new storm brewing?  It is hard to name, and honestly, it may just be more of the same, just deeper--from a different package.  But sometimes the package it comes in makes all the difference, and makes a lesson thought conquered, brand new and intimidating.

But, God's questions to me end up being the same..

"Do you trust me?"  "Do you believe you are who I say you are?"  "Is my opinion of you enough?"  "Can you let go of defensiveness?"  "Do you believe that I am good?" "Do you believe that I am just, that I will take care of others, that is is MY job, not yours?" "Do you believe that the good work I have started in you, I will be faithful to complete?"




Yes, Lord, I believe.

I trust.
You ARE good.
You are enough.
I will let go.
I give you the others.
I give you me.
You are faithful.







8 comments:

  1. I love this Amy and needed the reminder as I am trying to let Him take over and invade all of me. Love you!

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  2. Great, great reminder. He is really the one in charge, he gives us what we need and no more than we can handle or learn from.

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  3. That song was also running through my mind this morning as I fought condemnation over my repeated daily failures (I get so sick of myself and my pride; doesn't God?). I love when God uses music to speak to me...

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  4. wow... your words resound with me deeply. I love how you bring to light the heart struggle that made me say woah so true!!.. love your words here: "just deeper--from a different package. But sometimes the package it comes in makes all the difference, and makes a lesson thought conquered, brand new and intimidating."

    I am so relating to this very thing right now.. and feeling God work in me and create a new sense of letting it be His work, not mine.. so hard letting go and giving it over to Him to work in. Thank you for your wisdom and reminders.. wow..
    -Renee

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  5. I was just thinking about you and whether you had received that package yet when I woke up this morning So glad you did and that it blessed you and the girls! You all bless me. Miss you tons and praying for you. Karen

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  6. Dear Amy,
    I just returned home after visiting my dear friend Maribeth (you know her as MB from my book) in Kansas City, where she now lives. She is co-leading a Beth Moore Bible study (James), and I not only got to sit in on it (my first exposure to Beth Moore), but we also went together to hear Beth & her worship team at the Living Proof LIVE event in KC. I just started reading her book "Believing God," and I hear you today speaking many of the words of God that are also in that book.

    Sometimes I get impatient with myself and think "Again? I thought I did this work already!" But it seems that we get the opportunity to learn at a deeper level when it is time. I am with you as a sister in Christ, learning lessons anew. God bless us as we do our best to surrender, and learn to trust in Him more deeply!

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  7. Amy...

    You share with stunning beauty. And I'm so delighted that you've chosen to share it in community at Getting Down With Jesus.

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  8. Amy,

    I have been busy worrying the past week and a half and this post was such a PERFECT reminder that this storm in my life is completely surrounded by God's plan and what is to come. I hate not knowing, but your post was once again a reassuring and uplifting call to continue to surrender to Him and know that He IS WORKING for the good of those who love Him, and I can be at peace with just trusting in His perfect timing in revealing what is to come!!!

    thank you!

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Thank you so much for your lovely words to me! Due to the number of comments I receive, I cannot respond to all of them - but know that I read and love every word. If you have a question in need of a response, please e-mail sponsornewnostalgia@gmail.com and either Robyn or I will get back to you.