Antiqued tags using a blend of coffee, vanilla & cinnamon.
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Lately, I have lost my grasp of center. So much of it has to do with how I am spending my time and what I am ingesting-- and I'm not speaking food here. No recipes in this post!
Does this make sense?
The mind is powerful, and what we choose to think on, listen to, and read has way more impact on us than what we might think. I've become a bit sloppy when it comes to what I was allowing into my thoughts, mind etc. Maybe lazy is the word? Don't get me wrong..a bit of mindless t.v. is a-ok by me, but when what I am reading, music I am listening to, and things that I am watching all have the same negative message, it does eventually affect me! I find my thoughts gradually become more cynical, I react to life instead of respond, and my sense of center, of peace, slowly dissipates.
Intention.
Living an intentional life is what I so desire. In order to do this, I need to be grounded in truth, which means ingesting truth on a regular basis. This doesn't just mean ingesting the Word, but also His Words through other people, through music and through reading. It means seeking out what I want my brain to be filled with.
When I am not living life with intention, I feel weak and vulnerable. Storms of life come and I'm blown over pretty easily. That happened this last week. We are in the process of again, checking a lump that we have been watching. I had a scan that lit up a bit, but is borderline. I meet with my Oncologist on Thursday to discuss the "now what." It may be another biopsy or more scans or both.
I sure wish I could say that I respond well to these situations. You would think by now I would. This time I think my body just shut down and I took a 7 hour nap the day after the scan. It is amazing how emotions can affect the physical body, which makes being grounded and centered, at peace, even more important.
Confession time:
Another thing that has taken my peace is pride. God through husband revealed a couple areas that I need to be more intentional in. They have to do with money, and I immediately go into excuse mode for my actions. I am a very frugal person if compared to the average Joe, and I just want to hide behind that instead of admit I could have been more intentional with my spending this month. I also want to blame food prices and cost of holidays. I want to blame anything but me, but if I am truly honest with myself, I can do better and need to. This revelation came in the middle of all the other static my health has created. Not great timing, kinda ticks me off really, but I think I am ready to open my hands and be responsible for what is mine. Closed fists creates blame and denial. Pity parties inhibit growth.
which means I am almost done with my pity party ;) and I feel His Spirit working within to change my thought patterns. Nuggets of truth here and there. Gifts dropped in my lap from friends. A surprise visit from my Mom. An exciting opportunity to travel, speak and share my story come the New Year. These are all whispers, (some shouts) from God to me, some tangible, others not, but they all remind me that:
~He will never leave me or forsake me
~He knows the plans He has for me
~He has shown up in the past, within my pain
~He weaves stories, turning ashes into beauty
~He always forgives
~He meets my confession with compassion
~I can do anything through Him who gives me strength
~His promises extend to my children, and He cares for them more than I can imagine
~He is good, ALL the time. All the time, He is good.
~He makes ALL things, work together for my good!
~There is meaning and purpose in all that passes through His hands to me.
I will let you all know what Doc thinks after my Thursday appointment.
In the meantime, I am holding to the truths in this song, lately with 2 fingers, but soon to be with both hands, empty..
12.05.2011
Here are my goals this week:
Zone:
Under My Christmas Tree!!
Goals:
Wrap gifts already bought
Finish Christmas shopping
Wrap gifts as I buy
Buy stocking stuffers
Take Z Christmas shopping
Write posts on Christmas wrap
Time:
15 minutes a day OR
1 hour 15 minutes in one day OR
35 minutes twice in the week
***Would you kindly "Follow Me" in the sidebar? Would love to get to 1,000!
The number of traditions our family does seems to be growing. I guess I'm a sucker for traditions!
Christmas Lights In P. J.'s
We have to be sneaky for this one. We change the clocks and make sure we get our girls into bed by "8:00" (really 7:00). After prayers and kisses, we wait a few minutes, then kidnap them from their beds, slip on their robes and slippers, wrap them in a blanket and carry them to the heated car. They just love it, we fool them every time!!:) They know there will be bags of treats and merry Christmas music waiting for them in the car. We hit our favorite, "most lit" neighborhoods. After an hour and a half of Christmas light bliss, we head home. It never fails, on the ride home they are full of sugar, tired, grumpy, and have had enough of each other and of Christmas lights!
Christmas Story Book
It's fun to see our collection growing, we get a new one every year. "The Nativity" is by far the most unique, but their favorite is "If This Were A Fairy Tale"
Popcorn Tin & Sparkling Grape Juice
We eat popcorn from the tin and drink the juice in fancy glasses while we put up the Christmas tree. My girls fight for the cheese popcorn, Todd and I are usually stuck with the butter and caramel popcorn. I love using the tins to store Christmas lights and decorations, we have about 10 of them and they stack nicely.
My cousin, Keeli, has a cookie exchange every year. At least 8 yrs ago, she had us bring over 15 dozen cookies! That was the first time I made Andes Mint Cookies, and have been making them every year, ever since! Click here for the recipe.
This tradition is one Todd started when we were dating. He suggested we buy an ornament every year to remind us of that particular year. At the time, he lived in Chicago and I lived in Nebraska, so when we found an ornament with a little mouse sitting on a compass with the words "Across The Miles," we knew it was the one. It was so much fun shopping together, we found a tiny little tree for my apartment and it had one little ornament on it. Looking at our memory tree today, it is amazing how many ornaments we now have! The girls love choosing their own ornament and I love being reminded of what each girl was "into" that year. *Hint..if you go 2 days after Christmas, they are all 50% off!
Santa Pic
We eat at the mall food court and then go visit Santa for a picture. My girls have never believed in Santa, but they (at least the younger two) like pretending that he exists. I love comparing the pictures from year to year. This year, Santa was in some CRAZY pajama's. I'm not sure where his suit was, maybe he couldn't afford it due to the economy..
Stockings and Santa gifts
My girls wake up on Christmas morning to 3 piles of presents with a full stocking in front of each pile. They find their pile, plop down by it, and pretty much don't move until we are done opening all the presents. (well, maybe to get a cinnamon roll and juice.) The presents all say "from Santa," but as they get older they make sure to let me know I'm not fooling them. My parents always did it this way with us so I guess that is why I do it, too!
Sugar Cookies
We make them every year-- it used to be gingerbread houses, but I like simple, so now we are sticking to sugar cookies. This year it was so easy! They rolled, cut, frosted, and sprinkled all by themselves. I just organized it all and had oven duty. They are getting so big!
The Nativity Movie
This is a new tradition. We started it last year. My girls REALLY got into it this year and loved every minute of it. It was so great! We had to keep pausing the movie to talk about what was going on, answer their questions, and explain details to them. (there are some intense scenes that were important to talk through) I really feel like they learned a lot of details that can get missed in our story books. When it ended, my middle girl said "Mom, I just loved that. It is my favorite movie."
We have a bunch of extended family traditions, but I thought I'd stick to what my own little family does together. Christmas is such a wonderful time to spend time together and teach our girls what all this celebrating is REALLY about...the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
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