A "TMI" Health Update

Health update:

I have spent a lot of time at the Dr.'s office this summer.  Lots of blood tests and pelvic ultrasounds, and many hours discussing the best way to go for my "special case." We have been sorting through my cycles and why I am forming ovarian cysts each month.  The cysts are uncomfortable and literally, a pain in my... "side":)

~Side note...of all the treatments and tests I have gone through this last year, would would have "thunk" that pelvic ultrasounds would be some of my most dreaded!!  I have a tilted uterus, so lucky me has to drink at least 64 ounces instead of the normal 32 ounces of water, so they can see my ovaries on the scan.  I work so hard to get the timing just so, but of course, they are usually running late.  Then I get to lay down and have them push with the ultrasound scanner, on my very- 64- ounces- full bladder! Absolute torture!!!  I have had 3 in 3 months, and my girls love hearing how dreadful it is...they think it is so funny. They are waiting to hear a story of mommy wetting herself in the waiting room...I have a dreaded feeling it may happen someday...

These dumb cysts are a side affect from Tamoxifen, the hormonal treatment that is taken for 5 years.  We have spent the last 3 months making sure the cysts are not cancer and are not growing at an alarming rate.  Praise God, they are not.  

We have also been keeping an eye on my hormone levels.  This past week I learned that due to the Tamoxifen/ovarian cyst issues, my hormone levels (estradiol and progesterone) are sky high.  I have the hormone levels of a woman in her second trimester of pregnancy!!

My doctor thinks these high levels are what is causing my extreme fatigue at times (it could be long term effects of chemo and radiation, too).  I have been very discouraged this week with my fatigue levels.  I hate spending daytime sleeping...

The kicker is that my cancer is fed by hormones, so to have high levels running through my body is not good.  At all.  

My gynecologist is very, very against sending me into menopause by surgically removing my ovaries.  This is something I too, want to avoid.

We are praying for wisdom and direction.  I will be talking to my Oncologist about going off 5 year Tamoxifen (which is causing cysts and my hormone levels to skyrocket) and going on a Luteinising hormone releasing hormone (LHRH) blocker.  Basically, it will surpress my hormone levels, but when I stop taking them years down the road, I will still have ovarian function.  

Hmmm...other health news...

I have an implant that is slowly sliding down, it is about an inch "off."  I am not happy with it.  This means another surgery.  I've tried whispering softly to it to behave and stay put...it didn't work.

My daughter asked if it will slip all the way down to my belly button:) which I think may have spurred on a bad dream last night --my implant slipped all the way down to my ovarian cyst, caused the cyst rupture, and I was rushed back to the hospital.  Oh, yes...it was so realistic.... I felt that baby slide ALLLL the way down to my hip! EEEYYY! I woke up in a bad mood very annoyed at my boob.

Haven't you missed my TMI (too-much-information) updates???:P

Hey...really..I held back.  I could have told you about all the side effects of having the hormone levels of a pregnant lady!!!!!!

Shining: How I Stop Making Negative Agreements

I went on a church retreat when I was in high school.  During a mixer, we were challenged to think of a name, ending in the word "-one" that we wanted to be known by.  A name to claim who we were and who God was making us more and more in to.  

I chose the name "Shining-One"

I so desired to be one who shines the light of hope and love to a hurting world.  I so wanted God to use little me to make a difference in this world.  Now that I am an adult, I am learning that the hardest times to shine is in the mundane, little, everyday annoyances; and also in the larger, familiar moments that reveal patterns of unhealthy beliefs.

An example of an unhealthy beliefs that I am working on breaking is "I have to be perfect to be affirmed and loved."  To anyone who would call themselves a perfectionist, I would challenge you to look deeper into that and think about why you are.  I was challenged to do this and boy, was it revealing.  It revealed some deep rooted beliefs that I claimed a stake in years ago, that triggers negative reactions when imperfect life happens, when I choose to act imperfectly, or when I simply have made a mistake. 

This morning something happened that immediately triggered thoughts of "I will never get it." "there is no hope for  me in this area." " I suck."  Can you just hear the perfectionism oozing out of each of those agreements I made with myself?  I am learning to watch for these negative agreements that I make.  I am learning I can exchange them for truth agreements.  God helped me to that this morning.  He helped me to choose to continue to shine for Him, instead of waste a day feeling like a total loser.  I exchanged the nasty agreements above for these:

"I am completely whole and new in Christ, lacking nothing"
"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength"
"He will bless the desires of my heart and my efforts. He will help me"
"God has washed me pure, despite of my imperfections"
"Only God is perfect, I will not be until I get to Heaven"
"He is making me more and more like Himself everyday"

With these new agreements on my brain, I will continue on with my day and shine.
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This Little Light Of Mine--Addison Road

There's a little flame inside us all
Some shine bright
Some shine small
The rains will come
And the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light

In this life you will know
Love and pain
Joy and sorrow
So when it hurts
When times get hard
Don't forget whose child you are

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

May you live each day
With no regret
Make the most of every chance you get
Let your eyes get wide
When you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart

With the ones you love-
Treasure the time
And for those who are gone
Keep the memories alive

Hold on to your dreams
Don't you ever let go
There's a fire inside you
Burning with hope

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

There will be days when you wanna give up
When the clouds settle in
But after the rain comes the sun
Don't you ever forget
Don't forget
Don't, don't forget

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus' face
So until then I'm gonna try
To brave the dark
And let my little light shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine
Oh, shine
Gonna let it shine
There's a little light inside us all

Anti-Procrastination Tuesday #63

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Welcome to Anti-Procrastination Tuesday!  

I am eager to see what you all have been up to.  I am still just playing and enjoying the summer.  I am feeling great, although need an occasional nap.  I find my energy level is staying more consistent ...no more excuse to procrastinate!!:)

I AM very eager for the routine that fall brings, I know I will get much more done around here.  For  now, I am very ok with just the bare bones getting done.

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Most Clicked On AP Post:

Love It Then Let It Go @ Kirkwood Cottage

Clean Or Tidy? @ A Fruitful Life

Most Clicked On Flexible Post:

I Hate Cancer @ Bella Before & After

Quinoa Salad @ Living My Life On Purpose

My Favs:

Balloon Flip Flops @ Running With Glitter

Gratitude & A Free Printible @ Home Sweet Homebodies

Makeup Magnet Board @ The Kurtz Corner

Corkboard + Pantry = Awesome @ Thrifty and Fabulous



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*****Stop and Read BEFORE Linking!!*****
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"Anti-Procrastination" Themed:

~things you want to accomplish (lists, goals)
~things you did accomplish (before and afters are great!)
~thoughts on procrastination/ways you beat procrastination

"Flexible" Themed Posts:

~crafts

~recipes

~projects

Easy 3 Ingredient Chocolate Almond Iced Latte

I posted "Perfect Iced Coffee" a few months ago, and though it still remains my favorite, this is a very close runner up!  The process of making this is so very easy. It may be a bit more familiar to you than the cold brew process, and familiar is nice sometimes-- plus, I love how drip brewing process makes my house smell in the morning!

Starbucks Iced Coffee blend is new, and GOOD!  It is "roasted to accentuate its full-flavored taste when chilled.  It is medium bodied , well-balanced and caramelly smooth."

You brew it just like regular coffee, but make it double strength and serve it over ice.  Here are the directions from the package:

1. Brew as if you're making a full pot, but use half the water.
2. Slowly fill remaining pot with ice, or add same amount to a pitcher.
3. Serve fresh, over ice.
*By double strength, we mean: 4 TBS GROUND COFFEE to 6 OZ. WATER.
(I do not make mine that strong)

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HERE IS HOW I MAKE MY CREAMY, DREAMY, EASY..
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..CHOCOLATE ALMOND ICED LATTE: (V-Vegan; ND-Non-Dairy)


~8 HEAPING TBS Starbucks Iced Coffee Blend coffee
~16 OZ Water (this is my Mr. Coffee pot filled to the 4 line)
~Chocolate Almond Milk (I use Silk brand, Dark Chocolate, found at Walmart)
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Brew coffee and water.  This is your coffee concentrate.


Fill a mason jar (or glass of choice) with:


1/2 coffee concentrate & 1/2 Chocolate Almond Milk (or 2/3 coffee concentrate and 1/3 almond milk, according to personal taste)


Add Ice.


Add sweetener if desired.  I do not think this is necessary as the Chocolate Almond Milk is sweetened.


Pop in a straw and enjoy!!


Store leftover concentrate in a jar in the refrigerator, for up to 2 days.
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This particular brand of almond milk has 120 calories per cup (2% chocolate dairy milk has 190), no saturated fat, no cholesterol, 45% DV of Calcium (milk has 25%) and added Vit C and Vit E.  They use pure cane sugar to sweeten instead of high fructose corn syrup, and it uses Non GMO (non-genetically modified) almonds.  I do wish it were organic and a little less sugar, but all- in- all not too bad, especially compared to syrup sweetened, high calorie, budget- breaking drinks available to buy!

Let me know if you try this!  Enjoy.

One Thousand Gifts

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

 My husband has the privilege of leading and teaching a group of boys each week.  They have become a super special part of our lives.  This weeks gratitude list is inspired by them.

#590~599

~added testosterone to our very estrogen dominate family

~their kindness to my 3 girls, they feel like they have a bunch of older brothers

~video game club madness drifting up through my basement vents most Saturday nights

~a pile of boy shoes in my sun room, a sign of respect.  My awe in the size of some of those feet!

~a pool party of 27, not one behavior issue

~younger grades being welcomed by older grades-- unity.

~the way my heart melts every time one thanks me for making the "grub"

~when I was sick, a boy finds me to tell me "I prayed for you"

~their willingness to come into our home, to let us into their lives

~their admiration and genuine respect for my husband.  Relationship.

~a basket of clothes given to me by one of their mothers, a friend.  I delight in a new fall wardrobe.

~the endless possibilities of the gifts and strengths of these young men.  In a few years they will be leaders in the community.  Change agents.