New Nostalgia: March 2011

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Learning To Dance

I have been quite reflective lately as I celebrate the end of the "big T's" (chemo, mastectomy and radiation). Looking back over the last 7 months of this fight, I simply cannot believe the goodness of God and how He has given me such sweet touches of Himself, letting me know He was holding me every step of the way.

This is a post, written last October in the middle of chemotherapy treatments, and it brings tears to my eyes to think of how my God and I have DANCED!

Sometimes, the dance was not pretty..at all.

I struggled against His lead--still do--for I am still learning.

But the dances that I have learned and overcome?

They are sweet, sweet memories of my Savior holding me close, as we danced.

----------------------------------------

I sat at Starbucks for a few hours yesterday and spent some time reading God's Word. I came upon the parable of the Sower in Matthew 13. It inspired this...

I am a seed planted lovingly by the Gardener.

He is in Control.

He takes care of me.

The seeds He plants are special.

Special because He gives them choice

He lets me choose whether or not I will allow Him to sustain me.

He knows what is best for me.

He watches over me when the storms and winds come.

He asks me to remain planted, and allow Him to do the work.

He asks me to just submit and to keep my face upturned to Him,

{photo source}

Face turned, I dance in worship to the One who gives beauty and life.

At times the gardener must strip me, and it is painful.

I wonder if I’ll survive the deadheading, the pruning.

Petals fade, head hangs low.

It takes great effort –choice-- to turn upward.

The season is cold, I lie waiting, the loneliness overwhelms.
I know my Gardener is there.

I believe His promise,

He cares for me, though I am weak and small.

{photo source}

I know this, yet do I really trust Him?

In this storm, within the fierce winds, I hear His whisper…

”Trust deeper, my beloved one. I am here”

“Do you believe me?”

I want to.

I want to believe that He will breath life into mine and make me strong again.

I believe that spring will come

{photo source}

But there is the problem.

I want spring to look a certain way.

I want spring to bring the familiar.

I want to be planted in the same place that I was before, amongst those whom I love.

My Gardner knows this, yet whispers

“Deeper still…let’s go deeper. Let the roots take hold”

He gently picks up my head and tells me to look around.

I do and I see something

It takes me by surprise; it is so off-putting --so ugly.

Weeds.

I have replanted myself and have emerged into a place of shallow soil.

Where can my roots go?

I am here, in the shallow, surrounded with weeds created by me.

As I laid in despair, weeds named “Fear” and “Control” sprung up and have choked.

They have stunted my growth.

They have taken my ability to re-seed and multiply the beauty of my Gardener.

When did this happen?

How quickly and easily they have come!

It started with one; he calls himself “Fear.”

He has many friends

Their names:

“Anxiety”

“Control”

“Selfishness”

“Resentment”

These weeds have seen my thwarted plans and losses,

They have taken advantage of my vulnerability.

I didn’t keep my face lifted, and in they quickly crept

{photo source}

The “friend” most familiar right now is “Resentment.”

He pretends to keep me company and points out others

They are unhealthy, but not yet diseased, as I am.

The question comes as I look at them --“why me?”

What an ugly question to ask

That is the moment “Resentment” introduces me to “Self-Pity”

I hang my head in shame

Oh my Gardener, forgive me!

Forgive me for allowing these weeds, these hideous pretenders,

They replace the real Truth

They take my face from You!

You have promised plans for me.

I want those perfect plans

I want to take root and say “Come what may”

Please pull these weeds out of my way.

Rescue me.

Show me how to get out

Plant me by a stream of living water.

Where I can drink the peace that you promise to give

A peace that is hard comprehend.

I have known such a sweet peace.

I have tasted it before

I long for it again.

You tell me to lift my head toward You and empty my worry

You tell me to ask you for help

You tell to practice thankfulness, and to keep dancing, even in the storm

This is what brings peace

You pick me up and replant me exactly where I belong,

You shine on me and give me life

{photo source}

I will forever lift my head and dance for you, My Gardener

Philippians 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 58:11
"You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

**I'm happy to be linking up to these parties.

She Speaks Conference is "about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God.' This describes my heart, so I have stepped out of my comfort zone :) and applied for this SheSpeaks Scholorship. We will see what God does with it, but going to this conference has been a desire of my heart for a couple years now, and I would get to meet HER!! So... I will wait with uncomfortable anticipation for the announcement of the winner!

No Bake, No Sugar Chocolate "Larabar" Truffles

You are gonna like these! They are really good. They are make from very healthy ingredients, and contain no sugar. They taste very much like a Chocolate Coconut Larabar. I have always been a fan of Larabars because they are made out of just a handful of healthful ingredients...

... the above bar contains-dates, almonds, walnuts, unsweetened cocoa and coconut. That is it!!

I knew these would be easy to replicate, so I was excited to see that the Nourishing Gourmet had already tried and succeeded! I used her recipe and was really happy with how they turned out!

I packaged some of mine pretty to take to my Radiation Oncologist as a thank you on my last day of radiation. He is a diabetic, and I knew he had been staying away from refined sugars. He seemed pleased to have a treat that was sugar free, tasted them and approved!

You DO NOT have to be a date lover to like these. I do not like dates! In this recipe, they provide the sweetness and I could not tell there were in there. 2 of my 3 girls loved these and couldn't get enough. My oldest is not a fan of coconut, so no luck with her. The neighbor kids gave them 2 thumbs up and asked for more.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Here is the recipe, adapted from the Nourishing Gourmet:

Chocolate “Larabar” Truffles-Makes about 20 truffles

1) In a food processor, combine the pitted dates, coconut flakes, and coconut oil. Process until the mixture is finely ground.

2) Add the nuts to food processor and process until the nuts are in very small pieces (some even completely ground)

3) In the warm pan, add the chocolate to melt. If you need a little more heat, put on the very lowest heat on the stove, just until melted to prevent burning. Scrape into the food processor and add the salt and vanilla. Process until well mixed.

4) Roll into balls (refrigerate for 30 minutes if too sticky...mine were not) and place on a plate or in a container and then harden completely in the refrigerator. Keep cool until you serve and enjoy!

**I am pleased to link up to these parties!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

April Fools Day Ideas

{picture from FamilyFun.com}

I'm laughing at myself because I posted this last year, and here I am again, dealing with procrastination because I GOT NO PLAN ...ugh.

BUT, I do have more time to come up with one this year.

On to last years post...I wonder if I can just do the same pranks again?

Let me know if you have plans...

-----------------

I PROCRASTINATED! Imagine that...

I have to quickly come up with some April Fool's jokes before my kids come home from school.

Here is what I (with some help from Family Fun.com) have come up with:

Sweet Looking Cupcakes That Are Not Sweet! (pictured above)

I'm making meatloaf for dinner, and found this fun idea. It is perfect because we have art class today, which leaves little time to cook, so this breaks down the baking time. I am giving in and getting instant mashed potatoes, and adding enough butter to make them appear yellow, I may even put a few sprinkles on top. This one seems a little too mean, I may have to have real cupcakes sitting to the side ready to eat.

Super glue a quarter to the sidewalk:

My kids fall for this one every time!

{photo from FamilyFun.com}

Get Paid For Using The Bathroom:

the picture above says it all, or click on the link..

Pin The Panties/Underwear:

We did this one to dad last year. We took his underwear, and safety pinned the waist band of one, to the waist band of another, and so forth. This ends up making a "streamer" of underwear. Dad pulls one out, and ten others come out with it! Its too late to do this, but I have time to pin my girls jammies together...:)

Get Sprayed:

Wrap a rubber band around your sink's sprayer, tight enough to hold down the nozzle. When your victim turns the water on, they will get a bit wet! Hee. Hee.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

*due to my inability to think of anything more to write, I need to inform you that after today, I will no longer be posting and New Nostalgia will no longer exist. Thank you for all the amazing support and kind comments you have given to me over the months...

...APRIL FOOLS!!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Last Radiation Treatment Today!!

Today is radiation treatment number 28--my last!

If you read my Caring Bridge journal, this will be old news. If not, my latest posts have been on radiation treatments, adjusting to the hormone therapy that I have to take for 5 years, and having to say goodbye to a medication that I have been on for awhile, and at times, miss!

I also have grown some hair, bleached it, and "wore it out in public" as my girls say.:)

{sorry about the cut off face. I was cheek to cheek with my youngest and I don't post pics of the kids on my blog:)}

My latest journal post is below. I am celebrating, but in a reserved sort of way.

I look back on the last 7 months and I am so very thankful to be here!

I still have a little ways to go, and as you will be able to tell from my post below, some emotional baggage to attend to, but that is nothing new for me:) LOL.

Thank you.

Thank you for reading, for being so caring and willing to stick with me!

{Caring Bridge Journal~March 29th}

Wow-iee am I TIRED!

Zapped of energy, especially in the evenings.

I also have noticed as of last night that I just can't get warm, it almost feels like I have a fever, but I don't. Some other ladies I know who had radiation talked about feeling this way toward the end. Last night it took my winter pj's, my big thick robe, and two comforters covering me to finally get warm. Our cold, gloomy weather has not helped!!

Tomorrow is my LAST DAY of radiation!

I am so very thankful to have come so far, and I am especially thankful that you have all come with me..your encouragement has meant the world.

I am surprised at my mixed emotions about it all.

I have to be honest and tell you that I am adjusting to and pondering it all. I can't verbalize it well, but I feel like there is something keeping me from being super excited.

I am excited and so thankful that the big treatments are over, Chemo, Surgery, and Radiation...so thankful...but I am still adjusting to the ongoing process of having had cancer.

As my fellow fighter/survivor friend, Gina, said,

"Despite the hype of October awareness campaigns, "cure" is a misnomer. There is no cure for breast cancer, only a slowly-decreasing risk of recurrence."

She so beautifully put what is a huge frustration for me...I want to be told I am cured. Instead, as fighters, we are left with the reality of an ongoing battle, with on- going scans and on-going smaller treatments and follow ups forever. With no black and whites. Only statistics and percentages. I even hesitated to write "having had cancer" I think "is it had or have?" We will never get the answers we want. We do not know if there were more positive lymph nodes left behind. We do not know if the cells that are left behind will behave and self destruct or grow into little colonies called tumors.

I have a hard time trusting scans. They tell me there is no cancer, then after surgery my path results show cancer. Scans are not perfect, and cancer has to be a certain size to show up on them.

I also have history of getting good news and then the floor drops out, so I wonder if my lack of excitement has to do with that. I'll talk to my therapist about that one..:)

I know I have scans coming up, and a couple more minor surgeries, so these also add to the feeling of "I'm done but not quite"

Am I making any sense?? I apologize if this is negative, I truly am thankful, but want to keep it real.

So, I am going to celebrate the finishing of the big Treatments--it is huge that they are done and I am so thankful that "God has brought me thus far!" That is amazing.

But,

if I am not jumping up and down when congratulated, just know there is more to the journey and celebration will come slowly for me. I have a feeling my celebration will come in small moments, in the moments I feel so thankful to be here, the precious, everyday moments.

Who knows, I may surprise you and jump up and down and do a celebratory jig when I get my energy back:P

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5

Monday, March 28, 2011

Anti-Procrastination #49

***Please, please, please read before linking.

There are 2 areas to link up, with 2 different themes. Read more below and please link up in the right area. Thanks!***

To learn more of what this is all about, read this post.

Well, it is the fifth and final week at Clean Mama Clean Sweep.

I know she motivated me, how about you?

For last week's challenge I chose to tackle my paper pile.

I did that this afternoon, I worked for about an hour--here are some pics to prove it:)

{excuse my lunch:).. I forced myself to eat some Salmon today with Whole Grain Noodles.

I not a salmon lover, but it really was not too bad!}

I still want to tackle a couple file cabinets we have, someday soon.

The challenge this week is one of my least favorites!

Click here to go to Clean Mama and to see the challenge.

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Most Clicked On "Anti-Procrastination Post" from last week:

How To Hang Frames @ Ask Anna

Lemony Fresh @ Increasingly Domestic

Most Clicked On "Flexible" Post from last week:

Magazine Magnets @ Eye Spy DIY

Homemade Pretzels @ While He Was Napping

&<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">lt;center>&<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">lt;a <span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">href="http://<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">amy-<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">newnostalgia.<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">blogspot.com/">&<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">lt;<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">img border="0" <span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">src="http://i124.<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">photobucket.com/albums/p32/Amysb1975/7393129504_<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">TCNCj.<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">jpg" />&<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">lt;/a>&<span class="goog-spellcheck-word" style="background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: yellow; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; ">lt;/center>

***Stop and read below before linking***

I have 2 different themes for you to link up to.

Please choose the correct theme or I will have to delete your link.

Thank you!

***Anti-Procrastination Themed Posts

~things you want to accomplish {lists, goals, projects}

~goals you did accomplish

~thoughts on procrastination/ways you beat procrastination

***Flexible Themed Posts

~crafts

~recipes

~anything else that does not fit under the Anti-Procrastination Themed

How To Print Recipes At New Nostalgia-Print Friendly

{black arrow is pointing to the Print Friendly button}

I wanted to make sure you all know that there is a nifty little Print Friendly button at the bottom of each page, that comes in very handy when you want to print something here at New Nostalgia.

When you click on the Print Friendly button at the bottom of a post, it takes that particular post to the print friendly site, and will give you some options. A button I find helpful is the "no images" button.

Click this and save on printer ink!

This is what it looks like with no images. Simply click the print button to print!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

One Thousand Gifts #13

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

I loved this review of her book.

329~ waking to the symphony of bird song each morning

330~ the squeals and laughs from my girls as they take turns getting pooped on by all those birds!

331~ my cozy, comfy, warm, white robe

332~ hair long enough to "wear out in public"

333~ laughs this question brought-- "mom! are you REALLY gonna wear your hair out in public?"

334~ new princess canopy bed set for youngest

335~ my oldest sisters' phone call, it turned my frown upside down

336~ my youngest delighting in the new taste of Indian food

337~ compliments from husband

338~ sitting at a tea, a room full of survivors

339~ my Nancy, sitting by me at that tea

340~ a boy in my home, mentored by husband, loved by us all

341~ new blog design, slowly coming together

342~ only 3 DAYS left of radiation

343~ spring break play dates, spring break fun

344~ a church that sings old hymns at times, & how they soothe my soul

345~ hair bleach :)

346~ his arm around me at church

347~ a single pink rose, its overwhelming beauty

348~ the thorn on that rose, reminds that pain and beauty often go together...

349~ ...which reminds of a beautiful conversation with a brother at church. Thank you, Jonathan.

350~ a quite week, time marked out to meet with Him, to find the words to speak this weekend

351~ the opportunity to share at my church women's retreat this coming weekend

352~ the reminder to me and my nerves that it is not about me, BUT HIM!

353~ verses that tell me not to fret, but to rest Psalm 37:7,8

New Nostalgia Recipe Index--Updated!

I wanted to let you all know I finally updated my recipe index tab.

I added recipes that I have made and have been featured on the blog.

I had not done this since August!! Bad, bad, bad...

While I was doing this, I got excited about some of the recipes I have made in the past, and since it was Saturday and I needed to make a meal plan for this week, I decided I would choose from recipes here at New Nostalgia.

These are the recipes I will make this week:

Breakfasts: