I am reading a book on
Identity.
God and I have been working hard together, as He shows me who I REALLY am.
When all the fronts are stripped away, what is left?
The
core of who I am.
It is so important for me to embrace fully who God says I am. In order to do this, it takes a stripping away of old beliefs, a painful but beautiful process. This is where the work comes in.
It is so worth it, this hard work of exposing the core, of getting real. You see, I have 3 precious little motivators. 3 little girls who deserve a mom who can show them the beauty of their Savior. This is my life's work.
I am not alone in this work:
~I have God, who is enough, yet in His goodness He has provided so much more for me:
~I have a wise man sent from God, it is his profession to give words of wisdom, he accepts money but his words are priceless.
~I have a husband, who has a million times over shown me true love, reflecting The Answer in so many ways.
~I have multiple women in my life, they speak life into me, allow me to see their cores, and teach me as He transforms them.
~I have a virtual world that is real, words of truth come through with a click of a button, so many tidbit treasures.
~I have so much to be grateful for, I am overwhelmed.
I wanted to share a written example of the work I am doing.
It about me, as a six year old girl.
It was a fleeting moment in time, but its residue has lasted.
I was being disobedient, sneaking to a house 2 blocks down, "just for a few minutes, mom will never know," and she didn't, until now.
I wanted to see where my new little friend lived, what the insides of her home looked like.
She lived there alone with her dad, who was not home.
Oh how I now hurt for that little girl friend, living alone with a lost, twisted man.
A man who left violent, gruesome, worse than you can imagine, twisted, bloody, horrendous pornography out in the open
I experienced 3 minutes of hell in her home...she
lived in it. I never went back there again. I don't remember playing with her again. I don't remember her name, but God does. May He bless her wherever she is.
~~~
Beginnings Of Core Exposure
It takes such a brave soul to explore the core.
Blinders off, zeroed in, honest, real and true.
Paralyzing fear, such a scary place to go, yet I do.
I feel shame, exposed.
The enemies traps are everywhere, yet little girl innocence is unaware, vulnerable to his snares.
He preys the young, creating fear, triggering premature interest.
He smirks in satisfaction at her confusion.
A six year old-in the wrong place and time.
A trap set, sitting nonchalantly on a countertop, atop a pile of mail.
Trap lures, little fingers open, caught.
Eyes see, heart freezes, puzzled panic sets in.
Hands slam shut, eyes want to, mind does but too late.
Violent, evil, gruesome images, branded into a brain too small to fit them in,
Little legs skip away, time to play. Smile pasted, mind shuts down.
God in His goodness creates this intricate mind,
One that when circuits are overwhelmed, trips to self protect.
It stays tripped for lengths of time, until the enemy comes by
With an accusing finger, he pushes reset.
His lips full of lies, I believe as truth
Evil "repairs" damage even more.
Through the years, I am convinced fixed, but still broken.
Satan smiles at his crafty plans and makes more of them.
God's heart breaks. But...
He knows the Ultimate plan, beginning and end.
He has a plan on His Holy Heart, a plan just for ME:
~a plan to work it all out for good
~a plan with a guarantee to make all things new
~a plan that promises to overcome the evil one
~a plan that heals and restores
~a plan that has purpose
~a plan that turns pain to beauty
~a plan to reveal, redemption real
~a plan that will open eyes shut tight
~a plan that will come about, in His time
That time is now.
Plans fulfilled twenty-eight years later,
As the faithful fixer helps the little one restore the core.
Little girl scared, yet ready, He gently probes.
Holy hands hold hers
He moves to push reset, she wants to flee,
But then remembers whose hole- pierced hand it is.
Tears fall. She speaks words aloud, images unimaginable.
The circuit shorts, breaks. Beautiful brokenness.
Shattered, yet the core remains.
Exposed, real, true, free.
Reset, remade, renewed
Eyes reopened they see purity
She smiles relief, safe and eager for more plans of His to come.
Little girl, now with 3 of her own,
(3 little ones who make core exposure necessary)
Is being made NEW.
~~~
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